I kept ignoring the fact that I have MM. I did what the doctor said and just went on my way. When my doctor brought up a stem cell transplant, everything changed. You would have thought the diagnosis would have done it, or the spinal tumor, the surgeries, hospital visit, chemo, infusions, etc. But no. The stem cell transplant did it and now it's on my mind. It's a little scary.
I think of my own mortality and I'm not as concerned with dying as I am with how my son would handle it. I'm all he has. May 5th one of his best friends died in a motorcycle accident. It was awful and my son was devastated. Seeing his pain I wonder how I could ever leave him. Not that I'm planning on it and I'll do whatever it takes to live with this disease, but what if something happens?